Types of love

Is romantic love the best and only love we can experience? In order to answer this question, one must understand the different types of love.  Greek language breaks love into four parts: storge, philia, eros, and agape.  Here we will discuss the first two types of love.

The first type of love (storge) is associated with affection similar to the love a parent has for his/her child, or the love expressed between various family members.  Storge love is thought of as a natural type of love which occurs without much effort.  When many think of different family members such as father, mother, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousin, niece, or nephew, a natural wam feeling fills them.  Why do we have these feelings for different family members?  Many would answer that they are family, and when we do not have anything else, we have family.  This is a natural response to the question, but it does not provide the answer needed.  The mother and father lye at the heart of the family structure, and together they concieve children.  The storge love bond between parent and child is created because of human beings love for life.  This is the most precious human possession, and it creates the strong bond between parent and child.  The strength of the love changes as the size of the family expands, but the love for family remains consistant because of our love for life.

What type of feeling does philia love bring over someone?  Since philia love is associated with family, the feeling felt is similar to storge.  The difference comes from philia also being affiliated with enjoying an activity or friendship.  This allows love to touch non living things like music, exercise, or learning.  How does philia love make you feel when you are enjoying the activity you love most?  Does time seem to speed up while enjoying these activities?  Does philia love feel stronger than storge love?  Storge and philia love feel similar like our feelings for friends, family, and enjoyable activities.  Philia love is only slightly different because it includes friends and enjoyable activities.  Otherwise, these two types of love are the same. 

Pay attention to how you feel when you experience these two slightly different types of love, and see if you are able to draw a clear line between them. 

Love is that condition in which happiness of another person is essential to your own. -Robert A. Heinlein

How deep is your love?

I love you with all of my heart . . . I love you with all of my soul. . . I love you with all that I am. . . I love you from the bottom of my heart or from the depths of my soul. . . I love you more than words can say.   Many of us have used one of the above phrases to express the amount of love we have for a loved one, or something similar.  Do any of these phrases clearly state the amount of love directed towards the individual?  Can love be measured?  If so what unit of measure would we use?  Does love need to be measured?

Quantifying things is necessary for us to make sense of the world.  For example, how many times a day do we look at a clock for the time of day, how many purchases do we make every day or week with x amount of dollars, and how many people ask what today's date is daily?  Numbers are necessary for everyday life  just as units of measure are such as pounds, ounces, liters, quarts, gallons, kilometers, and miles.

How deep is your love?  Is it as full as a gallon of milk, long as a mile, or heavy as a ton of bricks?  Since love cannot be measured using these units, none of the above question have answers.  Let's see if we can find a measurement of love with the initial statements.  I love you with all of my heart/soul/that I am, and I love you from the depths of my heart/soul.  These statements say our hearts/souls love.  If they love, how much do they love?  How much does a whole heart/soul actually love?  The abstractness of these 'human parts' makes it entirely to difficult to make any sort of measurement since the parts themselves have no unit of measure.  I love you more than words can say.  Although this statement is similar to the others by having no unit of measure, it varies.  What does more than words can say mean?  We do not know exactly, but we begin to get an understanding of the power of love.  Love transends language, thought, and any other human experience we feel.  It needs no unit of measurement because it is to vast to measure.  Do not limit love by trying to measure it, but let it be free by experincing, enjoying, and enriching it.

In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. - Janos Arany

The love we love most

Why is love between lovers hot, passionate, and/or burning?  Why is this type of love desired above all others?  Why does ‘hot’ love create an emotional tornado inside of us?  You see the love of your life, and your heart starts to race, palms start to sweat, you experience a shortness of breath, and you start to feel a combination of excitement and nervousness.  Why do we have this uncontrollable response?  It is similar to the fight or flight response.  Our lives are not in danger when exposed to love, so why are there similarities between the two unmanageable responses?  Is it because life without love is not worth living at all?    

The fight or flight response helps an animal fight or run for its life.  What does this have to do with love?  We do not have to fight love or run from it.  Do we?  The fight or flight response helps every animal stay alive, and maybe our bodies are trying to tell us how important romantic love is to us through the fight or flight response.  Life is the most important thing we have, and love follows behind as a close second. 

Love is important to everyone, but why does romantic love relate to the fight or flight response?  Warm love involves cognitive, emotional, and behavioral components, but burning love involves the above components along with an erotic component.  No two animals can share anything more personal than their own physical bodies because this is the most significant item they possess, and the byproduct of the union  produces the greatest pleasure know to humans. 

Is it the desire for love or lust which creates a connection between fight or flight response and love?  Which one is more important to you?  Romantic love is most important because it combines the greatest pleasure with the greatest emotion. 

Love is composed of a soul inhabiting two bodies. - Aristotle

Is my love enough?

Do you love you (partially or entirely)?  Once you answer this question, then you can answer whether you love anything else because no one can give what he/she does not have.  After much self analysis, you discover your love of self.  Is this type of love enough?  Do you need love from family, friends, or a personal lover?  The answer will vary from person to person, but what do most people need/require?  Which type of love takes precedence in your life?  Which do you need the most?  Most important is love for yourself since this allows you to love others, but afterwards, having a personal love one takes priority.  This is evident in the multiple cultures around the world using the institution of marriage to try and discover that romantic love.  The high divorce rates seem to show this method may not be the appropriate one, but nevertheless, many continue to marry. 

The desire for a personal lover overshadows the love for family and friends because everyone has this type of love in their lives.  If love for family, friends, or yourself was enough, millions would not marry, hearts would not be broken, and the billions of songs, books, and poetry written about love would not exist since they discuss the hot burning love not the warm love associated with family, friends, or yourself.

Is hot burning love better than warm love?  They are both necessary to help everyone have a wonderful experience with love.  So I ask again, “Is my love enough?”  Yes my love is enough . . . . . our love is enough.

“We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk.  Two eyes to see.  But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else.  For us to find.” –Author Unknown

What is this thing called love?

What is love? Why have numerous poems, songs, books, etc. discussed love in great detail? Why are many people aggressively searching for it? Is it elusive?  Has anyone ever found it and does it need to be found?  If so where is it?  Before we can answer the above questions, the first one needs an answer. Love is defined as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, or a feeling of warm personal attachment/deep affection.  The attachment can belong to anyone or anything allowing love to reach across any barrier.  For example, people’s love for animals, plants, or various studied subjects such as music, philosophy, or physics allows love to reach anything living/nonliving. 

What allows love to extend its reach everywhere?  Love is the purest form of good and the most essential positive emotion.  Love is spontaneous, patient, kind, selfless, forgiving, honest, compassionate, genuine, humble, etc.  Numerous adjectives can describe the character of love, but it is that raw goodness located inside of everyone.  It is our most powerful tool and prized possession.  So unleash it on everything you can and notice the effect love has on you. 

“You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect.” -Buddha